Today is a weird day, in my mind. This is very close to the day when my husband left me with a 9 week old baby, 6 years ago. This is the day Shawn was arrested, two years ago. This is the day the judge gave for his death, 3 months ago. If I choose to focus on all of that, I’m an angry mess. It’s my choice.

So instead of focusing in on the pain and devastation that Shawn/Satan brought, today I’m choosing to focus on the miracles. God removed a violent, abusive husband from a battered, broken wife and her sweet, innocent baby. God put shackles on a calculated murderer who wreaked havoc and brought deep mourning to many families. God has given me a voice to share my story so other women don’t have to walk alone.

I don’t have it all together. Some days my body still reacts to the trauma it’s gone through. I’m not always as strong as I try to show others I am. I don’t have all the answers but friend, I have Him. And that is all I need. He is healing our brokenness. He is showing how close He was in every painful situation. He has gently reached down and pulled me closer when I struggled to trust Him. He is One who deserves all our praise. So with the rest of my life, I will do my best to choose Him. In every hard, in every hurt – He is beyond worthy.

Father, I thank you for our lives. I thank you for the pain. I trust You. Thank you for a love I have never known before in my undeserved gift of Vi. I am forever Yours.

Amber Bowman

1 thought on “9•13

  1. Just said a prayer for you and your little one. Can’t imagine what you’ve gone through and are still in some ways going through, but please know you have blessed my heart and encouraged me and so many others.

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